


sorry.

by porcelainsimplicity



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom
Genre: Confrontations, Gen, Mental projections, Post-Film
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 15:28:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1823368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/porcelainsimplicity/pseuds/porcelainsimplicity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you say that you know me<br/>You don't even see<br/>That the child you remember<br/>Is not all of me</p>
            </blockquote>





	sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the lyrics. i think i have absolutely no grip on raven's character, so if this is horrible, i apologize. but if you like it, feedback is nice.

If you knew how I feel  
Would it help you be kind  
Would you let me reveal  
What I've had on my mind  
'Cause I want what I want  
And I love who I love  
But you brought me so low  
I just want to give up  
When you say that you know me  
You don't even see  
That the child you remember  
Is not all of me  
And I choose what I choose  
And I love who I love  
And I've given so much  
But it's never enough  
I'm sorry, sorry  
I'm not who you want me to be  
Sorry it's not my fault you live in misery  
Yeah, I've made my mistakes but I'm happy to pay  
They are mine, they're not yours  
I've let go of my shame  
They are part of the girl I'm becoming today  
I won't carry your guilt  
I won't shoulder your blame  
I'm sorry, sorry  
I'm not who you'd wished I'd become  
Sorry you feel alone  
Sorry I let you down   
I don't want to fight anymore  
Maybe I've gone cold  
But I have heard all this before  
It's not my fault  
Sorry, sorry I'm not who you want me to be  
Sorry if I've let you down   
Sorry if I want to be free  
elizaveta – sorry  


Charles waited patiently for the elevator to open, then wheeled himself into the shiny, metallic hallway. Hank was asleep upstairs, and Charles had sent him a good dream to keep him occupied so he wouldn't wake up and start wandering around.

Charles didn't want anyone to know about this.

He wheeled himself to Cerebro and waited for it to open, then rolled down the walkway to the controls. He took a deep breath before putting the helmet on and closing his eyes, and soon he felt his mind expand beyond its boundaries, and he opened his eyes to see the various mutants around the world.

There were more of them every time he looked.

But he was after one mutant in particular, and it didn't take him long to find her. She was in a hotel room in Detroit that night, and he wondered what it was that had driven her there. Something that he probably wouldn't approve of, he was sure.

He sat there, just observing her, until he got the shock of his life.

“Charles, if you're going to be here, I may as well see you.”

Charles concentrated on showing her his physical form, and soon he was looking straight at her, her blue skin and red hair stark against the crisp white of the linens on the bed she was lounging on. “Hello Raven.”

“Don't call me that,” she said. “I ceased to be Raven a long time ago.”

“I'm sorry, but you will always be Raven to me,” Charles said. “I cannot think of you as Mystique.”

“You should,” she said. “Raven died a long time ago, along with all those ridiculous ideals you tried to put in my head. Well, you finally succeeded with one. Mutant and proud. Raven isn't a mutant, Charles. She's a cop out. My name is Mystique. It always has been; I just didn't realize it.”

“I cannot think of you that way, Raven,” Charles replied. “I cannot think of you as this woman who was going to murder a man.”

“You stopped me once, Charles, but that doesn't mean you'll be able to stop me again.”

Charles felt his mind fill with dread as he realized Raven was implying she would kill, most likely soon.

“I want you to come home,” Charles said, pleading with her. “Please.”

“I can't,” she said. “I've got my place in the world now, Charles. I know what it is I'm supposed to be doing.”

“And becoming a murderer is part of that?”

“Do you know how much of our blood is on their hands?” she exclaimed, standing up and walking towards Charles's projection. “It's not just Trask, Charles. There's so many of them who think we're some sort of science project. They dissect us like a biology class would with a frog. And they need to be stopped.”

“And you think the only way to stop them is to murder them?” Charles asked in disbelief. “What happened to you, Raven?”

“I grew up,” she said, wishing she could shove the projection the way she used to shove Charles whenever he made her angry. “And I'm not Raven anymore. Raven was the scared child in your kitchen that night. Mystique is who she finally grew up to be.”

“Mystique or not, there surely must be some other way to stop these people than killing them!”

“What have you done about it, Charles? Hide. You just hide in that mansion, train your mutants, and then do nothing with them. All you have ever done is talk, Charles. Scientific terms and a thesis on mutation do not earn us the rights we deserve. Hunt or be hunted. Fear or be feared. Evolve or die.”

“Is that what Erik taught you?” Charles asked, resignation creeping into his voice.

“No, Charles,” she said. “That's what I taught myself.”

Charles swallowed hard. “I am going to do my best to stop you. You know that right?”

“You can try if you want,” she said, looking into the eyes of the projection. “But you won't be able to stop me, Charles. Not anymore.”

“I never thought it would end up like this, Raven,” Charles said. “I never thought you would leave.”

“That's because you never saw me as more than the scared girl in your kitchen,” she said, taking a deep breath. “I'm sorry Charles, but I cannot be who you want me to be. Not anymore.”

“So this is it then?” Charles asked. “I am supposed to just let you go and commit all these atrocities that flood your mind and sit there and do nothing.”

“You promised you'd never read my mind.”

“You promised you'd never leave my side,” Charles replied. “If you want me to go, just say so. I will stop doing this, and we will likely never see one another again.”

Raven stood there for a moment before nodding. “I'm sorry. Goodbye, Charles.”

“Goodbye, Raven.”

Charles pulled back the projection and left her. A voice went through his mind, an old voice, a voice he'd always remember because it was his own.

_Just because someone stumbles, loses their way, doesn't mean they're lost forever._

Mystique may think so, but Raven wasn't lost forever.

Charles would keep fighting for her, and every other mutant he could see when he put on that helmet and stretched his mind out.

She needed him.

They needed him.

And he needed them.


End file.
